YAY

YAY i got my laptop!!!! YAY!!!!!

Blonde MAN

This proves that their are BLONDE MEN out there.

                                                  Blonde Man's Lunch

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building,"

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blond opened his lunch and said, "bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or Enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much!"

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.

"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "he makes his own lunch."

 

 

My Cell Phone Number

If you want my cell phone number..........check ur email.........cause im only giving it to ppl who gave me there addresses.......MY FRIENDS who never email me so hopefully they'll call.
if u know i dont have ur address....yet you have my site address u freak.....email me at getsk3wled@yahoo.com and request it..........just tell me who you are so i can refuse it if i dont know you
best wishes
-----getsk3wled

GET HER BACK!!!

::NOTE::
Bad stuff's sensored...but the stuff she wrote wasnt

Ok this freak put this comment on my friend ben's site..........
"Fat people scare me, because if they sit on you you'll suffocate and die! All Fat people do is eat and eat and eat mcdonalds. Big Mac anyone? Gross you f*cker. I wish all the fat and obese people would blow up or be sent to their own planet called FATURN! Oh wait I forgot that all the fat people in the world would be to heavy and the planet would fall from the sky! Fat people this is for you go away and never come back or lose weight why don't ya and stop eating those Big Macs all they do is make you fatter. mmmkay b*tches."

Lets get this b*tch back!!!!!
http://www.xanga.com/Fat_Is_Gross
You have to have a xanga to leave a comment @ her site. So put what u'd say to her as a comment to me (click the comment box) and i'll post it under my xanga.

sorry for the language...........

Picture of my boyfriend

This is Dustin

Fluffy the Magic Farret

This is the story my boyfriend wrote. Its great.

fluffy the magic farret lived by the water pudlle he had a lepercon friend and liked a fish and a monkye named bod then he liked a bare and he was name flooc y john and he married a penguen name lo lo lo lo pe ep pe weeeee

by dustin kelley

The Man Who Loved Baked Beans

okay i know this is REALLY gross, but the joke is really funny....u should get a hint from the title

The Man who loved baked beans

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Shortly after that they were married. A few months later, on his birthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down. Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans.
All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peak. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.
With his blindfold still on, when he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests
seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Weird Facts Vol. 1

Vol. 1 means there will be more...............

Weird, Amazing, and Useless Facts

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 other million people in the world?

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The longest word in the English language is 1909 letters long and it refers to a distinct part of DNA.

Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
Cat's urine glows under a black light.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two

inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

Polar bears are left-handed.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter was Tom Sawyer.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

TYPEWRITER, is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the

keyboard.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

2 Things

First off. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY!!!!  and thanx for letting me over to ur house.

Second.  Since Dustin ur probably reading this at emily's, i just wanted to say

                      jIH muSHa' SoH

which mean i love you.   check out the rest of this site and check ur email, theres gonna be lots

When life gives you lemons, find someone whos life gives them vodka and have a party.