If We Had Cars Built By...
At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared thecomputer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept upwith technology like theindustry has, we would all be drivingtwenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response toBill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr.Welch himself): If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all computer be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy anew car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and youwould just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause yourcar to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have toreinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95"or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, fivetimes as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would bereplaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally, and for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you outand refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of RandMcNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need themnor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause thecar's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become atarget for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn howto drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in thesame manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy anew car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and youwould just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause yourcar to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have toreinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95"or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, fivetimes as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would bereplaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally, and for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you outand refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of RandMcNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need themnor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause thecar's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become atarget for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn howto drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in thesame manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine
posted by Rawr at 3:06 PM
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